Spiral Of Silence

I believe

2006-03-21T23:16:00.000-05:00

There have been days when nothing comes in your mind but depressing and blue thoughts, which make you even more depressed. They will always be encoutering you.
I am having such days and I call them "Prayer days", because what I need is to grasp a Dua book and read it with full concentration. Nothing helps but believing in God.

Anjum posted about a related topic and I ould not believe how right it is for me too, since I have been all teary,s ad and tensed these days.

It said:

" The mind goes in circles, the eyes tear, and eventually you get so tired and fed up that you just sleep, with a dua on your lips.. ya Allah, Turner of Hearts, turn my heart towards Your deen.. Protect me and turn me away from that which is bad for myself and my deen, and make me pleased with the good as You have ordained it for me..

Best to pray to hold on to the good in your life, and leave the rest to He who knows all and sees all. "

He sure Does. I firmly believe.

2005-03-18T01:06:00.000-05:00

LOL

hum kay thehray...

2005-02-15T07:31:00.000-05:00

hum ke thehray ajnabi
itni madaraton ke baad
phir banain ge aashna
kitni mulakaton ke baad

hum ke thehray ajnabi
itni madaraton ke baad
hum ke thehray ajnabi..........

kab nazar main ayay gi be-daagh sabzay ki bahaar
kab nazar main ayay gi be -daagh sabzay ki bahaar
khoon ke dhabbay dhulain ge
khoon ke dhabbay dhulain gek
itni barsaton ke
ke thehray ajnabi..........
dil tu chaha par shikast-e-dil ne muhlat hi na di
kuch gillay shikway bhi kar letay munajaton ke baad
hum ke thehray ajnabi

White Flag

2005-02-13T14:45:00.000-05:00

----
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

White Flag by Dido.
A must have in playlist.

hurt

2005-02-11T21:24:00.000-05:00

Main Entry:
hurt
Synonyms:
aching, aggrieved, agonized, battered, bleedin', bruised, buffeted, bunged up, burned, busted up, contused, crushed, cut, damaged, disfigured, distressed, disturbed, grazed, harmed, hit, impaired, in pain, indignant, lacerated, marred, mauled, miffed, mutilated, nicked, offended, pained, piqued, put away, resentful, rueful, sad, scarred, scraped, scratched, screwed up, shook, shot, sore, stricken, struck, suffering, tender, tortured, umbrageous, unhappy, warped, wounded, zinged

i wish

2005-02-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

I wish... so much.

A pakistani tragedy

2005-01-27T23:25:00.000-05:00

In some families the tragedy of a working woman girl is making chappaatees (rotian).
yes I know, what I am saying. It is a great tragedy in many pakistani families who are living abroad. Men of families want hot, fresh home made chappaatees at every meal, three times day. Wether the woman has arrived 5 minutes before them aur half n hour after them, she is the one who HAS to make chappatees.
Even the precooked parathas/chappatees are lying in the fridge, they will not eat them. The reason first of all those precooked ones are not good, and lets say they are ready to eat them, but still men of family will not heat them. They want a tired mother/daughter/wife to present well docorated plates of food in front of them.

I protest.

a fresh start

2004-10-31T21:22:00.000-05:00

Okay !
So I have not been paying attention to my blog since ages. Part of it was intentional and part of it wasn't. Unintentional includes my extra course load, extremely boring assignments and some fun projects. hmm.. so why I stopped writing intentionaly? .. Well.. I was doing nothing here except whining, which I REALLY don't like. I am a hopeful person and I like to spread hope and smiles too. But I don't know somehow, a sleeping whiner started roaring inside me and made me write all "oh..life is bad/boring" stuff. So , you see ! .. Actually I am chirpy and smiling but while writing my blog that demon surrounded me. Worries not!! that bad bad demon is gone ( I hope so) and I am back to myself.:)

I hope , I'll be writing my observations, study , school and friends related issues.But one thing which I have always wanted to discuss was "relationships", and now today I am not sure I want to write at my blog or not. Because relationships are very subjective matter, no one can understand others except the one who are part of the relationship. At times they make me angry, cofuses me, brings a lot of responsibility. but hey.. they are ONE damn good thing which happen to us. The day one seriouly understands the importance of relationships, be it natural, by law, or by understanding; one can cherish them for all along the life. By managing and feeling the realtionships in its fullest depth, enlightens one with one's own potential. Believe me.. you will be surprised to see youself after letting yourself sink in them
---
So the bottom line is:
I am happy :)
but I have a test tomorrow, so I must study too.
*logs off*

Polo Passion

2004-08-07T01:57:00.000-05:00

I dont remember exactly, when I fell in love with Polo Mints. The unique "mint with a hole" was my favourite thing to ask abu to bring when he went for his monthly official visits to Lahore. His busy schedule usually allowed him to buy only choclates, Fruitella and of course POLO for us from airport. ahh.. they were a treat for me , a delicious treat ;with which I could not only eat but play also. I love the ORIGINAL spearmint flavor, rest are all just glitzy blitzy which give you nothing but mere sugary sweetness.The taste of spearmint stays in the mouth and makes one smile.

They are really interesting stuff. Try revolving the mint in ur mouth until they get very thin. Be careful dont break them ! then try to put your tounge's tip into the thin white ring :)
Yeah its funny , but believe me its still same fun for me as when I was 5 or 6. But Alas ! I rarely found these brit delights at common stores in Toronto.

Do you know that , Nestle' tried to register their invention" a mint with hole on which polo is embossed " through a trademark.
And do u know that 38 M are produced every day
and 140 are eaten every second
It takes the weight of two elephants to press a Polo, a mint
but sorry these did not impress the court. Read the Polo TM case.
Plus there is a statute of women, apparently, holding two gold polos in her both hands in paris. See here

These darlings are absolutely decent, nice, not-so-sweet, low in calorie and yummilicious and I cannot get enough of them, So if you are planning a visit to Toronto, bring a bag of these and meet me. You 'll find a very good company and I'll get Polos :D
...
and I learned a new word today while browsing through blogger.com , Guess what is it ?... No u cannot guess !
its "Floccinaucinihilipilification". Is this o-n-e word? : Who uses it? Doctors !! they are only capable to such lingual absurdities :p~
thanks to this kid for enlightening me .

Another Personality Test

2004-08-02T02:50:00.000-05:00

Quzilla tells my Social Entity Type.

Category X -
The Changeling ,Witty, amusing and a bit weird, you're welcomed into most social groups, even though you don't 'fit in' perfectly .

what do they mean by weird ? But I agree with the "fitting" part, I rarely find a group whom I can associate with. I'm one of a kind. :)

What is your type?

A day at Gerrard Street

2004-07-25T02:30:00.000-05:00

Highlights of the day:

Grilled corn with Indian chatmasala and Lime
Pani Puree, with Xtreme khatta paani
Paapree chaat with imlee ki chutnee
Photoshoot of 4 Divas at Subway
A rickshaw in Toronto
Long walk and Window shopping at Younge street

at the end.. a b.b.q and 4 very tired girls.

2004-07-21T01:12:00.000-05:00

I cannot study right now, I just Cannot !
It seems my priorities are changing, unconscioulsy and I am not admitting it.

Moody Mona .

2004-07-12T02:11:00.000-05:00

See Mona !!

A lot of sunshine

2004-06-30T00:06:00.000-05:00

It feels like I have just woke up after a year's sleep. The same fumbling feeling are overcoming me which one gets soon after a deep sleep.I cannot recognize the faces of people, who are they? what they mean to me? Where am I ? The new realities are striking me,something which is not the way I was dreaming of.Its different and I dont like it. I want the same dreamy feeling but how Can I have them back, they are just dreams, reality is different, much different.Alchemist taught of following the dreams, yeah right !dreams... dreams of a guy. I need sunglasses, the sunshine of reality is pinching in my eyes.

Another Raindrop...

2004-06-15T03:04:00.000-05:00

Everybody has one photoblog now, why should I remain behind !!
*hmpph*

http://creatingpast.blogspot.com/

I like photoblogging, a pic says thousabd words and I'm too lazy to think and type, It suits me.
*sheepish smile*

Its Time.....

2004-06-10T00:35:00.000-05:00

WOW ! It was a perfect summer day here in mississauga. Sun shone with its glamour; not with its blazing heat, mild summer breeze was blowing all day; wasn't messing up hair and finally evening saw few minutes of romantic drizzling. I loved it. Although it was a super summer day yesterday with 31 degree Celcius which felt like 41, but it wasn't perfect as it was extremely humid and plus our AC broke for the day. Its not that I cannot live without AC but man !! the houses overe here are not made for summer, they are built to protect against severe cold of Canada. Really its get suffocating in summers, at times. Plus I'm over with my midterm of summer course today so, no complains. :)

An oldy Indian song is striking my mind again & again today...

Yeh shaam mastani...
Mudhosh kiya jaye...
Mujahy dor koi kheenchay...
teri o'r liaya jaye...

$%@#$%@

2004-06-09T02:41:00.000-05:00

If life is pretty, where the hell are my spectacles !?!?!?!

Buzz, Business, Blogging

2004-06-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

Just started my day with a bowl of cereal and this
It is about a Japanese entrepreneur who thinks blogging will soon emerge as a business and change coming life. I agree,it's a simple thing to understand as more people will want to blog, the rule of supply and demand with coem up; sooner or later.Secondly, according to my opinion, Internet has already changed our life drastically after television, blogging will enhance the "Unique Identity Syndrome". The meaning of word "privacy" has been already changed and this came to my mind when I read Stephen Deken and Michelle on Asi's blog in march . It was Sweet.

On a side note, which one is more easy laundary or vaccuming ? but what;s the point of asking when I have to do both.

To Myself !

2004-06-05T00:18:00.000-05:00

God answers knee-mail

I would If I Could but I can't, So I won't.

2004-05-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

They grump when I jump on the bed, so I don't.
I would if I could but I can't, so I won't.

They frown when I knock people down, so I don't.
I would if I could but I can't, so I won't.

They smite when I hit or I bite, so I don't.
I would if I could but I can't, so I won't.

I would if I could, would if I could, would if I could but I can't.

They gripe when I swipe anything, anywhere.
I would if I could but I can't, it's not fair.

They faint when I paint on the wall or the door.
I would if I could but I can't, any more.

They're cross when I toss lima beans round the room.
I would if I could but they low-er the boom.

I would if I could, would if I could, would if I could but I can't.
I am trying to figure out
What the world's okay with.
What I can and cannot get away with.

They flip when I strip in the park, which I've done.
I would if I could but I can't, but it's fun.

They yell when I tell Mama's age, though it's true.
I would if I could but I can't, 32.

They scowl and they growl and they puff and they pant
With the yes and the no and the shall and the shan't.
But I know down below as they rave and they rant,
They would if they could, would if they could,
Would if they could but they can't.

*On a not-so-childish note.. I guess sometime in life every one faces this situation of "I wish I could, But I can't, so I wont" ..... Obediency!!! (sigh) Is it good to be obedient?*

Am I insane or what ?

2004-05-19T01:37:00.000-05:00

I had a very funny feeling today, I missed something and I felt like listening to that thing, after spending two years in Canada and do you know what is that thing? I was missing PTV's 9 o clock "Khabernama". Isn't it insane? The moment I had this thought, after that I blinked my eyes quite a few times and then grinned. It was silly but yeah I have some of my own reasons. In these two years I've noticed, I was much more aware of all current happening of the world in Pakistan then today.Those thirty minutes gave me the same feeling which that person had after going around the world in 80 days. I missed those "khaas khaas khubrain" and "khelon ki khubrain". I know I sound very weird,when I have CNN,CBC, CityTv, Global and what not and what not. May be I'm missing just the familiar language or may be I'm very busy here, not giving enough time to listen news properly. NO..its Urdu. Yes I miss urdu and urdu transmission. What can I do about myself if I'm such a paindoo?

And so the voice begins...

2004-05-15T23:47:00.000-05:00

Bol, kay lub aazad hain teray
Bol, zaban ab tuk teri hay

Tera sitwaan jism hay tera
Bol kay jaan ab tuk teri hay

Dekh kay aahan ger ki dukaan main
Tund hain sholay, surkh hay aahan

Khulnay lagay qufloon kay dahaanay
phela her ik zanjeer ka daaman

Bol, yeh thora waqt bohat hay
Jism-o-zaban ki moat say pehlay

Bol kay such zinda hay ab tuk
Bol, jo kuch kehna hay keh lay !

Courtesy: Faiz Ahmed Faiz